The Parlor and The Kitchen- Chopper

I am a true Gemini in many ways. Which can be frustrating, since I am often of two complete minds about things, both sides may make sense to me, and it can be hard to reconcile the two halves of my odd whole.

Kitchen equipment is a perfect example.

On the one hand, I generally appreciate and subscribe to the Michael Ruhlman school of thought, which is that any good cook only needs a few basic quality tools to practice their craft. I absolutely know that most of my cooking takes place in one stockpot, one large skillet, and one small saucepan. There is frankly not much I cannot do with these three pots.

And yet, between my three C’s (cast iron, copper and Calphalon) I own no fewer than 29 various pots and pans:

And don’t think there aren’t many more which I covet and dream about…Mauviel haunts me, many shapes and sizes of Le Creuset seem to want very much to come live at my house, and I await with baited breath my next visit to Paris where I fully intend to lose my s*** in the aisles of E. Dehillerin, where Julia Child bought her favorite cookware.

(It is important to note, that one of the many many amazing surprises about Charming Suitor, and one of the first things he shared with me that made me know we were destined be together, was his admission that when he goes to Paris he takes an extra empty suitcase so that he can FILL IT UP AT DEHILLERIN!!!!! I mean really, who would not fall in love with a man like that?)

I know in my heart that all I need is a regular spoon, a slotted spoon and a spatula, maybe one pair of tongs. But there are these:

I want to be a smart cook, I want to have an organized and uncluttered kitchen, I really do. At least, half of me does. That half wants to cook simple, with a few high quality, well-loved classic items that will serve me my entire culinary life.

The other half wants my kitchen to look like Sur la Table and Williams Sonoma got together and became the Duggars of the food world.

It is a curse.

Take cutting and chopping. I know that 95% of my slicing and dicing and mincing happen with a good 8” chef’s knife and a 4” paring knife. Did that stop me from acquiring:

Clearly not.

Wanna know where else that Gemini two-headed monster comes in? Skill vs. laziness.

I have excellent knife skills. Significantly above average. I’m not Martin Yan, and I do have to watch what I am doing, but I am very VERY good with a knife. I pride myself on my knife skills. But I do so hate to have to do more than minimal prep. It takes so long. I am not patient. I just want to get to the cooking already. I know a lot of cooks who love prep, they find it soothing, it calms their minds. Not me. I like the action. The sizzle and the simmer and the stirring and the tasting for seasoning.

This is why I have a big food processor. And a little food processor. And a mandoline. And infinite other tools designed to take the muss and fuss out of all that chopping.

Which the creates the new problem for the lazy side of me…schlepping the equipment down and setting it up and then the cleaning up, which takes up all the time one saves on the whole not-chopping thing.

When everyone and their brother started coming out with their own version of a tiny easy tabletop chopper, I succumbed. That smacking the chopper looked so easy and fun on TV, there were oodles of versions at Bed Bath and Beyond, and most of them were pretty affordable. Who is sassier than Brian Boitano using one to salsa music on his oddly entertaining cooking show? And while I find the Slap Chop guy creepy, he does make the equipment look useful. I didn’t have (and still don’t) any desire to try and make salsa right on my cutting board, or mix up tuna salad “in a flash”. I just want to chop up my onions and garlic and shallots and other basics quickly and efficiently. So I succumbed to the siren call of the mini-chopper.

Several times.

They were shiny.

They were small.

They had such promise.

They were terrible.

I tried (and immediately gave away) about three or four of them. They were weird to use, you practically had to chop the stuff yourself to get it to a size that the gadgets would work with, and they were awkward to clean. They would chop some of the contents to a fine mince, while other pieces were still huge. They couldn’t handle much more than a quarter of an onion, and really, when do you need only a quarter of an onion?

So when Kuhn Rikon sent me their Swiss Chop Chop to try out, I was cautious. It looked cool, with its reasonably large capacity, two spinning blades, and the funky ripcord mechanism. I liked the idea of the little arm at the bottom of the bowl to keep contents moving towards the blades. But I had been disappointed so many times, it made me more than a little bit skeptical.

But I am skeptical no more.

This thing actually works!

I threw in two shallots which I had peeled and halved, and with ten pulls, they looked like this:

It made quick work of minced garlic, and was big enough to do a whole onion a once. It comes with a lid, so you can use it to store things, which is pretty handy. Because of the whole pull-cord mechanism, you can’t put the top in the dishwasher, so that isn’t ideal, but the rest of the pieces do go in, which is good for the clean-up factor. All in all, it was definitely the best version of any of the mini manual choppers that I have used, and I have a feeling it will be in regular rotation at my house.

Just don’t tell Michael Ruhlman.

Yours in good taste,
The Polymath

For your very own, click here Kuhn Rikon Swiss Chop Chop 

The Parlor and The Kitchen- Cooking Magazines

Welcome to our new regular Tuesday feature, The Parlor and the Kitchen, posts devoted to all things cooking and entertaining. (Even if the only person you are cooking for and entertaining is yourself.

This is my opportunity to share my ideas for parties large and small, my favorite cooking tools and techniques, as well as lovely and functional items for home and table. Anything that makes my life easier, more pleasurable, or more filled with beauty.

Some things to be aware of with this and all future postings:

1. I am not paid for endorsing the items I write about. This is mostly because I am not famous enough to be worth any money for saying I like stuff.

2. I am totally open to being paid for endorsing items, so if any of you know people in the industry, feel free to recommend me as a spokesperson, I come very cheap.

3. When writing about gadgets or equipment or specialty ingredients, I do often accept samples or review copies to play with from the companies that produce them. I do not guarantee good press or favorable posts in exchange. I accept them happily since I am a freelance writer of meager means, which doesn’t mean I don’t want to tell you about cool stuff you might want to have! Besides, as things go along there will be fun contests with prizes, which will be sponsored by these companies, meaning you all get a shot at some cool free stuff. But it is important that you know that this is a full disclosure site. It is also important to know that if I write it, I mean it. No different than if you mom bought you a bag you love as a present and you tell all your friends how great it is. Just because I get to test stuff out for free, doesn’t mean I’m sweetening the post. Frankly, there are plenty of people who love to snark about stuff, and I certainly have my moments. These posts are only for the positive…I’m only interested in stuff that is worth having, and don’t want to waste writing time on stuff that doesn’t work.

4. I am very open to suggestions and input, so feel free to tell me about your own favorite things or things you have been thinking about and aren’t sure if they will work for you. Ditto recipe requests. I love to share recipes.

So, having said all of that, today I want to talk about one of my top ten cooking tools. It isn’t a special knife or a perfect pot or a genius gadget. It is cooking magazines.

I am a cooking magazine addict. I subscribe to: Bon Appetit, Saveur, Food and Wine, Cooks Illustrated, Fine Cooking (in which one of my “tips” was published not only in the mag but in their book!), and I miss Gourmet like a constant ache. I have, over the years, succumbed to Cooking Light, Pastry Chef, and others, but these were short flings, and didn’t stick in my permanent roster.

Now, chickens, you might well say “Who in their right mind needs to subscribe to five or six different cooking magazines?” And my answer is, YOU!

Well, you if you love to cook and entertain. If you don’t then obviously it won’t be much fun, but if you do, then these things can be your best friends. A terrific source for interesting ideas about food, foodie travel recommendations, hot new ingredients and easy to follow recipes. Plus pretty pictures! I find them deeply enjoyable, much more than other types of magazines. I get wonderfully inspired, and usually within a week of their arrival, have tried something new in my kitchen. Even if it is just buying a vegetable I usually ignore or trying a technique I’ve never tried, the magazines make everything seem new and shiny.

Without my years of cooking magazine reading I would not know about grains of paradise, my go-to-instead-of-black-pepper seasoning. I wouldn’t be a convert to using my slow cooker for more than just keeping things hot on a buffet. I would never have tasted Korean black garlic, mugolio sweet pine syrup, or Sicilian red grapefruit marmalade. I would not have learned about one of my favorite ways to cook new potatoes --boil till done, smash with the bottom of a glass till they look like splayed out carcasses, put on a sheet pan, drizzle with olive oil, sprinkle with salt and pepper (grains of paradise) and roast at 400 degrees until crispy…YUM!

My shelves are filled with useful cookbooks I bought because I loved the review in a magazine. There are tips and tricks I use all the time that I picked up in their glossy pages. I have cooked and adapted their recipes. They have led me to great tools, and kept me away from lousy ones. It is one of my grand ambitions to have my writing someday grace their pages.

In the meantime, let me recommend without reservations, the following:

Saveur- this is food porn of the highest order, and which is best, every recipe I have ever tried works like a charm. Gorgeous photography, well-written intelligent articles, and really useful info. If you can only subscribe to one glossy, this is it!

Cooks Illustrated Magazine- homey and rustic, one step up from a newsletter, but with serious research behind the articles. Best for useful tips and tricks, and for the “best of” recipes…basics made perfect by trial and error. Bonus, their website is amazing and totally worth the additional subscription cost.

Bon Appetit- with Gourmet’s demise, this becomes the new Grande Dame. It has gone through a makeover recently that I don’t adore, but the content remains solid. They are best for their less exotic recipes, if something sounds a little odd when you read it, don’t bother. But if it looks delish, it probably will be. A great mag for a newer cook who is ready to start branching out in the kitchen.

Fine Cooking- A lovely thin little waif of a mag, but with serious recipe punch. And a good source for interesting new ingredients.

Food and Wine- As my Charming Suitor is a pretty serious wine guy, this has recently become a much more interesting mag for me….I used to skip over a lot of the wine articles, but now I read them and find them much more interesting and useful than I previously assumed. But I always loved the food articles and recipes!

If you aren’t sure if one of these is for you, head out to the newsstand and pick them all up and try them out.

Or do what I do, and pick them all!

Yours in good taste,
The Polymath