|Cookin' in the kitchen!
1. GET THESE BAGS: http://mymojuba.com/bride-mojuba/inside-bride
Full disclosure: The creator of these is a longtime friend, and was a wedding planner for years. She meticulously researched the best little "insurance policies" that everyone needs on hand on the big day. Things like a top quality emergency stain remover kit, band aids, clear nail polish...even the things you wouldn't think of, like plastic straws for drinking without smudging lipstick! Jackie's wedding present to Charming Suitor and I were these bags, and we both were SO glad we had them. I had a tiny snag on my dress...in the bag? Tiny scissors, it was gone in a flash without a trace. Had forgotten my "something blue", a cool strand of blue suede peppered with little Turkish eveil eye beads for luck, wound it around my bouquet and we were back on the good luck train. Charming Suitor used his like a briefcase, organizing all the checks to pay vendors, collecting gift envelopes, and keeping his wallet etc. in a safe place. The best gift you can give to a bride or groom, or yourself if your big day is coming up.
2. Flip Video
Someone you know has one. Ask them to tape the ceremony if you aren't hiring a videographer. We are so glad my mom handed hers to one of our friends, because we have been able to share the ceremony with some family and friends who were unable to attend.
3. Don't be afraid to ask for unusual details.
We were able to make the day special and personal by working with our vendors on some details that were special to us. Because the event was so small, and because we are well equipped for entertaining at home, we were able to use our own china, silver, linens and glassware for the reception. It was very cool to see a friend eating our wedding cake off of my great-grandmother's china! We asked the restaurant where we had our wedding dinner to put gougeres in the breadbasket, since they were an early funny bonding thing between CS and I. Everyone will be honest about what they can and can't do for you, but it never hurts to ask.
4. Let go.
In the weeks leading up to the big day everyone around us kept remarking on how calm we were. Our standard response was this: We wanted to be husband and wife. We didn't give a flying fig about being "bride and groom". Of course we wanted the event to go well, for the guests to have a good time, for all the planning to result in events that go off without hitches. But at the end of the day, the promise we made to each other was that the day was a lovely necessary step in getting us to our life together, and not the other way around. So we made a conscious decision not to care about whether the cake fell off the table, or if it rained, or if we flubbed our lines. And it worked. By focusing on the big picture, and making sure that we genuinely felt that if anything went wrong it would be hilarious and not heartbreaking, we could be calm, cool and collected. We had butterflies of excitement, not nervousness. We were able to be fully present in the moment, because we weren't thinking about how the event was moving along. I'm not saying you shouldn't embrace the fun of being the center of attention for a day, we planned the heck out of this wedding weekend, and loved being on the receiving end of such love and warmth. I'm just saying that the day is the "amuse bouche" of your partnership, the tasty little mouthful that starts the meal off right, and that the rest of your lives together is the meat and potatoes.
Any other marrieds with good advice for getting through your big day?
Stay tuned for more details, some in depth discussion of a spectacular wedding dinner, and pics as we get them.
Yours in Good Taste,