Wednesday, March 16, 2011

March Madness and No Apologies

First things first.  I am not going to apologize for not posting.  Not now, and not ever again.  I recently read a piece about this phenomenon that really resonated with me.  And the gist of it was this...the contract you and I enter into with each other is that I will write about things that I am passionate about, that interest or upset  or amuse me, or provide some sort of interesting content.  You will read it when inclined, comment when you are so moved, and understand that this is the relationship.  I don't guarantee a certain amount of content any more than you guarantee a certain amount of time spent reading me.  I don't want to write out of pressure or from a place of being uninspired any more than you want to read what I might force out of my brain when I am in that place. 

I am a professional writer, but not a professional blogger.  This site is important to me, and rewards me in all sorts of ways, but it does not support me financially.  So there will be times when paying work takes precedence.  It makes me feel good to be out here with you all, but it doesn't cuddle or make me tea or have lunch with me or pick me up at the airport.  So there will times when Charming Suitor and our families and our friends take precedence. 

And sometimes, I?  DON'T WANNA. 

I tend to forget now and again that I am a grown up, and while there are certain responsibilites that cannot be avoided or put off, there are places where if I don't wanna, I don't haveta. 

Mostly?  I wanna.  Boy how I wanna.  I can tell you that in the scheme of things I'd rather be doing this than a whole lot of things.  I dream of a day when all I would have to do is write my books and write this blog.   And who knows, someday that may become a reality!  But for now, there is work, and looking for work, and the piles of everything else.  And since I know that the vast majority of my Chickens also have way too much to do and way too few hours in which to do it, and since you are all people of taste and discernment, I think we will just agree that I will write as often as I can when there is something to write about, and you will remember when I am not posting that it is because life happens to all of us.  Some of my most favorite bloggers write only once or twice a month....but what they write is compelling and fabulous and I am always glad that they did and I don't think ill of them for not writing more, so why would I assume that it would be any less okay for me?

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, how the heck did it get to be MARCH????  Really?  With the whole time speeding insanely by, really?

You might think that the crazy round here these days is basketball related, but no, not so much.

What we have here is your basic Holy Moley month of work, more work, wedding plans, travel, health issues, purging and merging, tax prep, and what Charming Suitor and I refer to as "paperwork".

Usually in a relationship, one person is more adept at paperwork than others.  For us, paperwork refers to anything logistical.  Researching products. Booking airline tickets.  Knowing where the Groupon is. Making the dinner reservation.  Dealing with sending back the 13 quart Le Creuset with the cracking lid for a new one.  Not losing the concert tickets. 

CS and I determined early on that in our partnership, I am in charge of paperwork.  And getting married is a bucket of paperwork.  Insurance to be re-issued and updated.  Wills and medical power of attorney and advance directives.  Contracts with the various wedding entities.  Enormous piles of paperwork, both literal and figurative.  And I FREAKING LOVE IT.

My skills in this area are related to my nearly obsessive interest in PLANNING.  I love to plan.  I love to plan almost more than I love to execute.  Did you ever see this commercial?

I am these guys.  It is what makes me a good consultant.  I can see the big picture, find the way out of the maze, create the road map.  I'm a natural problem solver, so I genuinely LIKE to track down the best stuff at the best prices, and figure out which hotel in Paris has a real king sized bed and not two twins shoved together, and who carries a DVD copy of Who's Killing the Great Chefs of Europe, because CS never saw it and it isn't on Netflix.  This can sometimes be, um, spectacularly annoying to the people around me. Because I love to plan things RIGHT NOW.  It doesn't matter if we do not NEED a plan for months and months, we could talk about all the possibilities TODAY.

My planning is mostly aspirational.  When I am planning something, especially something way far away, something not even promised, I am living the fantasy.  I'm the crazy girl with the serious plan for how to handle winning eleventy-gajillion dollars in the lottery.  I'm always grateful that in the early months of our dating Charming Suitor never caught me surreptitiously measuring his furniture while he was in the bathroom, planning the home I hoped we might make together someday.

In my defense, as much as I love to plan, I am still very much a go with the flow kind of girl, so when plans need to change due to weather, or circumstance, or mood, I am quick to shift...and....wait for it....MAKE A NEW PLAN!  Double the planning, double my fun.

Last week, all of these things merged.  Monday night CS and I chose to become Dance School Dropouts.  We had signed up for a local 8 week class of basic ballroom steps that can be useful at weddings and bars and such.  We aren't having a dancing wedding, it was just something different and fun to do together that was also active.  We went to two classes.  We learned a lot.

We learned that bad teaching is pretty obvious, and really annoying.
We learned that "pointy toed shoes" are the reason for someone stomping upon my feet, and we are sticking with that theory.
We learned that I have something of a problem letting someone else lead, but also that I have more fun when I do.
We learned that when things around us are maddening, our first instinct is to bond together and make each other laugh, and not get snipy or snarky at each other.

We learned that neither of us wanted to continue and since we didn't need this credit to graduate and also did not give a flying fig what anyone else in the class including the incompetant teacher thought of us,  we skedaddled, dropped out, and asked for our money back with our heads held high.

We had a plan, and then we changed it.  And we didn't apologize.  Sounds like March is shaping up just fine.


  1. Good for you! I hate feeling pressured to post... blogging should bring us joy, not anxiety!

  2. I'm happy to have your posts, as long as you are happy to post them!

    Just so you know... loving paperwork makes you a bit crazy. I'm glad the world has crazy people like you that actually like stuff like that... my bookkeeper saves my sanity EVERY single week!

    And I'm glad to hear that you dropped the class that just wasn't working for you. It's great that you picked up some lessons along the way, and that you 'make stuff up as you go'.

    That's a great way to "LIVE" your life!

  3. Good for you! I agree with all of your points about posting. The sense of entitlement that some people show to bloggers is another staggeringly negative effect of the Interwebs...good for you for staying sensible and true to yourself.

  4. You tell em sista!
    I am too a "planner". I know what I am doing 2 tuesdays from now. I have a plan for everything. I even plan the route through our insanely busy super market(bc sundays after church makes the market a scary place if you don't bring your grocery list). People come to me to plan things from Girls night out to, weddings. I get an overwhelming since of accomplishment when I plan something and it turns out just as little brain had planned. However it can be my aschilles heel too. BC i am very disappointed when things don't go as planned but am quickly learning, that I can learn to let it go and roll with the punches. BC my hubby is a "duck on water" type of person. Makes for an interesting household. Best wishes with your wedding. I'm sure it will be a well planned and executed event of the season!

  5. JLan, as my chick lit soul mate and I refer to your bestie, had a similar rant a while ago ... and again, I can't get over the gall some people have to demand more from you. Does it brighten my somewhat humdrum days when there's a new Polymath or Jennsylvania (or Moment of Jen or whatever) post? Yes. Am I going to throw a tantrum like a toddler or Real Housewife when there isn't? No.

    Truly, I appreciate the blogs of my favorite authors as a means to tide me over 'til the next book release and/or subsequent rereading of such, and I feel privileged that you're willing to share your life with your fans to the extent that you do.

    Thanks again for your vastly entertaining books, blogs, etc.! :)

  6. I agree with all of your points about posting.